Performer expects to hate Fringe even more than Burning Man


Brooke Allen, conductor the free 2016 Secrets of the Fringe tour, says, “I expect the experience to be even worse than Burning man.”

For those who don’t know, Burning Man is a so-called “festival” that is held every year in the godforsaken Black Rock desert in Nevada (USA). Although the first of the 10 Principles of Burning Man is “inclusion” it is nearly impossible to get tickets because they sell out in less than one second.

Brooke says, “The first time I went to Burning Man was by mistake in 2009. I had such a tough time I came back in 2010 with my son, college roommate, and his daughter to see if things might get better. That didn’t work, so I tried again in 2011 with another friend and his 13-year-old daughter.”

“In 2014 I took a break from Burning Man and went to the Edinburgh Fringe instead. That was so traumatic, I decided to go back to Burning Man in 2015 and the dust storms were the worst in memory. So, in 2016 I’m going back to Edinburgh for the Fringe where I expect the experience to be more awful than anything that has gone before.”

Brooke explains why in A Better Way to Experience the Edinburgh Fringe (and life), which you can read here, here, or here.

Take the Free Secrets of the Fringe Walking Tour and give Brooke your support, love, and money. It will be much needed.

Note: Just because some things at the Fringe are “free” does not mean you cannot tip the performers. 

There is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON to believe the Secrets of the Fringe is sanctioned by the Edinburgh Festival Fringe Society

The Secrets of the Fringe website, Twitter Feed, and Walking Tour are not sanctioned by the Edinburgh Festival Fringe Society.

It says so right in the catalog, and no matter what unsubstantiated rumors you’ve heard (or start just for the hell of it) there is no evidence that there is a relationship.

Just because we cannot stop members of the Society from submitting secrets anonymously (or through third parties) does not mean we encourage them to do so. Don’t take this the wrong way; we are not discouraging them either. We did briefly consider encouraging people not associated with the society to encourage those who are, but we rejected this idea.

Some muckraking journalists say things like ‘there is no reason to believe X’ as a way of implying there is a reason to believe X, but this is not the case here even though our mission is to rake the muck.

Our motto is ‘We will tell you everything except who is sleeping with whom.’ We follow this strictly. If you want to tell us who you are sleeping with we will not publish it. However, if you tell us everyone you are NOT sleeping with, we’d happy to let the world know so that people can figure out who you are sleeping with by process of elimination. In addition, if you are willing to sleep with anyone then we’ll gladly advertise this fact as well. (Unfortunately, because the Fringe is an Open Access festival, we are prohibited from allowing you to be selective as to who you will sleep with.)

If the Festival Society were to issue an internal memorandum prohibiting members or employees from disclosing any information to us then we would be very happy to publish it if someone were to leak it. In addition, if they were to send us a letter from a lawyer insisting we cease and desist we’d be happy to publish that too.

Treat everything you read here as if it were a parody protected under free speech, even if it isn’t a parody or protected speech. If something here gets you angry then we’d much prefer you get a sense of humor instead because we will all live longer that way. Or, you can even the score by submitting your own story.

P.S. If it isn’t clear from me misspelling of words like “humor,” this is written by an American. If none of this seems funny to you, don’t worry; there is no accounting for taste. On this side of the pond “British Humor” is synonymous with “for twits only” although we’ll deny it if pressed.